my friend who snorts cocaine won’t eat cookie dough because it’s bad for you
there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me
it’s called the throne
Sometimes you stop talking to someone because you keep telling yourself that if they wanted to talk to you, they would.
The person you are going to marry is walking on this planet right now.
When someone leaves immediately after a Marvel movie
- me: i'll do it at 7PM
- time: 7:02PM
- me: oops too late gotta wait till 8 now